international excuses for bad behavior

International "Excuses For Bad Behavior" Day Around The Zodiac

One thing I've learned over the years: despite the birth chart, and

regardless of Sun Sign, we're all human... and as a result are all

prone to bad behavior. Fortunately, I have decided to use The Power

Cosmic invested in me as an astrologer (we all get some at the

graduation ceremony, along with a scroll and a solemn promise not to

overcharge) to declare this day -- September 11, 2007 -- to be

International Excuses For Bad Behavior Day. Just like Sadie Hawkins

Day, it's a day where the regular rules are suspended, and you can get

away will all sorts of nonsense.

Here are your excuses, conveniently listed by Sun Sign. Memorize yours

and use it as much as you can today!

ARIES: "Nothing was happening, so I made it happen. Don't blame me

because the barbecue wasn't starting fast enough. Besides, your

eyebrows will grow back eventually... "

TAURUS: "Yes, sweetie, I know that was the money for our power bill,

but I needed that fur-covered vibrating seat cover! And it was on

sale! Half price!"

GEMINI: "I know I said I wasn't going to do that, but that was

yesterday. Okay, okay, it was today. But I had to. Now I don't. Sorry

about that. Mind if I do it again?"

CANCER: "You were mean to me, so you were asking for it. You're an

insensitive jerk. I'm only an insensitive jerk because I have to be.

You started it!"

LEO: "Look, I know I have certain responsibilities. I'm an adult. So

if I decide I want to spend the rent money on a pony, I deserve it.

Now, feed Mr. Nibbles for me, won't you?"

VIRGO: "Don't complain about the job I did. It's not as if you were

washing the car properly anyway, so I re-did it for you. At least it's

clean now. Besides, you always wanted a convertible, right...?"

LIBRA: "But I thought that's how you wanted it! I only did it for you!

Now sit down and stop complaining. Prove your love for me, and eat

that raw pork sashimi I made for you before I cry."

SCORPIO: "Hey, you were the one complaining about the neighbor's dog

barking all the damned time, so I took care of it. You should be

thanking me. Now go get me a shovel before this thing starts to

stink."

SAGITTARIUS: "It's the truth! And you did ask for my opinion. That

dress does make your ass look fat... but I love your fat ass, babe!"

CAPRICORN: (long, icy silence) "Hmph. Like you could have done

better."

AQUARIUS: "Yes. Our wedding day should have been the most special

occasion of our lives. And it was. Me inviting my friends from the

outpatient clinic made it even more special. Besides, it would have

been bad luck to get married without my tinfoil hat, and I left mine

at home. If Zoolak hadn't loaned me his, the marriage would have been

doomed."

PISCES: "I don't see what the problem is. It's not like anyone was

hurt. That's the important thing. The cat needed a haircut. And isn't